May

Apparently I'm a total loser at this blogging thing.  I forget it's here or don't have time or... the reality is, I just don't do it.  I found out I'm pregnant again.  I'm somewhere around 9 weeks at this point.  I'm happy... mostly.  I used to want a hundred kids and maybe if I could have continued after Zoe with some amount of stability I would have many children now, but I'm older and I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel (Zoe is almost out of high school now- two more years) and I'm starting to wonder if I really want to raise kids my whole life.  I started way too young and with the span of Sophia and this new bundle of joy I'll be raising kids for nearly my whole life.  Perhaps these were considerations I should have made pre-Sophia, n'est pas?

Whether I like it or not, I'm in it for the long haul.  Another 18 years until, by any miracle I'll have done my job sufficiently enough that all of my kids will be out of the house and off to college where I can then make some life decisions based solely on me (albeit keeping that pesky college tuition in mind) and maybe live out some of that life I've watched slowly fade into the background.  It's fortunate that I adore my kids.  I think this one may actually be the last one for me though.  I'm sure anyone who knows me never thought I'd say I'm done if I had the chance to have more, but I think I'm done.

So now to speculate if this one will be more like me or more like the husband?  God, my silent prayer to You is that this one is less like Sophia (be that like me or my husband) because I'm not sure there should be two of her in this world or we will all suffer a coup d'etat at the hands of a genius child.  Any chance I could give birth to a child much like my Dad in temperment?  Laid back, easy going...  yeah, I didn't think so.  Not with Dave as the father.